


out of touch

by WishingTree



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, different types of touch-starved, i guess, it's fluffy nothing!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25339522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingTree/pseuds/WishingTree
Summary: In which Ava learns about how she physically interacts with the people around her, and then turns her attention to Beatrice.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice & Ava Silva, Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 28
Kudos: 739





	out of touch

**Author's Note:**

> the idea of just the physicality of them both is……very interesting

Something that Ava was coming to understand about herself was that she wasn’t always the best at managing the casual affection that seemed to be overflowing inside of her. Apparently she was _touchy_ , and while that was a bit of a surprise, she was adaptable. She could roll with it. 

In fact, with all things considered, she thought she was making great progress, and she was doing _amazing_ in her combat training, if she did say so herself. It was just… all the other times that were a bit more complicated.

See, the thing about Ava’s body and its newfound mobility was that it didn’t always do exactly what she wanted it to do. 

Well… that was a lie. 

It didn’t always do exactly what Ava would _assume_ she would have wanted it to do, had she given it more than a second of thought. Or… more than half second of thought. A quarter second. Ava’s _pretty sure_ that if she gave it any thought at all that she’d be super great at this whole casual physical interaction thing.

However, as it stood, most of her casual movements were driven by impulse, spontaneous and subject to changing on any whim. The majority of it was harmless, tapping her toes or fiddling with the edges of her clothes, playing with her fingers or whatever else was in reach as she moved about her day, and sometimes… sometimes these impulses would include other people who happened to be near her. It wasn’t anything bad, but Ava was learning that she was a very touchy person, especially with those who she was comfortable with. She would fidget, liked brushing shoulders and nudging fingers and general closeness, liked being able to _feel_. 

She liked it, and she would never stop being grateful that she was being given the opportunity to experience it like this. Throwing arms around others, grabbing hands, bumping hips, all of it was straight out of her dreams, and sometimes she couldn’t stop herself from beaming.

Camila was a good sport about it, and Ava was pretty sure that Lilith’s threats to eviscerate her were only partially serious. She once poked Mary a bit too sharply in the side and had to phase through the wall to get away from her retaliation, but that was fine. She just had to avoid her for a couple of hours, and it wasn’t a problem when Beatrice was happy to teach her some combat maneuvers in the meantime.

As she adjusted, she thought she was getting better at reigning in her thoughtless impulses around the others, but there was one exception.

She was progressively getting worse at it around Beatrice.

“Ava,” Beatrice said mildly, in that way that told Ava that she was either endearingly amused, or about to politely suggest she find something to occupy herself with. Ava was sure if she had a bit more time, she could reliably learn to differentiate between the two.

“What, huh? Yeah?” 

In the moment it took Ava to snap herself out of the happy daze that came with hearing Beatrice say her name, she realized that she had been absentmindedly playing with the material of Beatrice’s sleeve as they sat eating supper, leaning into her shoulder. 

“Sorry,” she blurted out, letting go and lifting both hands into the air, “Sorry, I didn’t – didn’t realize, sorry.” Her hands found themselves moving away, one grasping the material of her own shirt over her stomach and the other picking up her fork, and Ava gave Beatrice a wide sheepish smile.

“That’s alright,” Beatrice replied, shooting her a soft smile of her own before looking back down at her empty plate, “I will be needing my foot back though, if you wouldn’t mind.” 

Ava blinked as Beatrice then raised an amused eyebrow at her, nodding pointedly, and Ava realized that she had somehow slipped her foot completely over Beatrice’s next to her under the table. 

“Oh!” she gasped, this time sputtering as she hastened to pull her foot back, accidentally knocking their knees together. “Uh, my bad.” 

Beatrice grinned at her as she rose gracefully from her seat and picked up her tray. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you later, alright?” 

Ava nodded, staring up at her, and Beatrice visibly swallowed before extending her hand to hover it above Ava’s shoulder, hesitating and then patting her arm twice before pulling her hand back to her chest and spinning around to walk away. It was all very particular, and Ava titled her head to the side. 

That was interesting. 

…Maybe she should investigate. Test out her theory. She… didn’t actually have a theory, but that was fine. She could make a theory.

Mary was snickering at her across the table, and Ava kicked out her foot to make contact with her shin. It didn’t do anything to dissuade her, but Ava felt a small sense of satisfaction before getting a swift kick in return.

Over the next few days, Ava made it a point to watch Beatrice closely, something she distantly noted wasn’t altogether that different from her normal routine. She did try to pay more attention to her specific motions, making note of how and when she reached for other people, and it was… engaging, to say the least.

Beatrice was precise in everything she did, from writing letters to handling weapons, and her movements in non–combat situations were always very careful and ordered, like she was constantly holding herself conscious of them. It was something that Ava didn’t quite understand, something she didn’t think she’d be able to do even if she was trying. Restraining all her motions? Not for her anymore.

When Beatrice trained with her, her hits were quick and deadly, as Ava expected, but when she helped her back to her feet and guided her in a practice counterattack, her hands were always an absolutely charming combination of steady and gentle. She didn’t shy away from physical contact, but she rarely initiated it without a clear motivation.

When Ava hugged her, she hugged back. When Ava linked their arms and dragged her outside, she went along willingly. When any of the other sisters reached for her, she’d happily reciprocate their casual motions, but her touches never lingered.

Ava crossed her arms and drummed her fingers as she thought about it, watching Beatrice moving through some drills across the room. She shifted her weight contemplatively as she stood there, chewing on her lip, and that lasted until Mary swept her feet out from under her and she remembered that she was actually in the middle of her own training session.

“Head out of the clouds, Ava! It’s more fun kicking your ass if you’re actually present for it.” 

“Yep,” she groaned from flat on her back, still not sure if anything other than her pride was hurting, “Got it.” 

One calm afternoon found them together in one of the many research rooms, Ava slumped down on the couch with her legs thrown over the side while her back half–rested against Beatrice next to her. She was twisted at an odd angle for it, but she was also very comfortable and had no intention of moving. Beatrice didn’t appear to mind, shaking her head when Ava offered to get up, and Ava tried not to be too obvious about how pleased she was.

Pretending to read the book she had resting open against her legs, she flipped a page and thought about everything she had observed. She wasn’t actually sure exactly what that was, but she just needed the perfect time to bring it up with Beatrice. That was simple, and she nodded to herself resolutely.

She flipped another page. 

And flipped another page.

Right.

One minute and twelve seconds later found Ava reaching back to tug at the material of Beatrice’s sleeve to get her attention. 

“Hey,” she started when Beatrice met her eyes, “So, please don’t hit me for this, but I’ve noticed that you kind of, sometimes, sort of…” she waved a hand as if that would help emphasize her point, “Don’t let yourself relax in terms of like, physical contact and stuff? And I’m pretty sure it’s not because you’re uncomfortable with it, because it seems that you like it and also – you’re Beatrice and you could kick everyone’s asses if you wanted to.” She craned her neck back to try and get a better view of Beatrice’s face. “Is there… something wrong?”

Beatrice stiffened minutely, and then she sighed and lowered her book, not relaxing her posture. “No, of course not, I just…” she trailed off, pressing her lips together. Ava waited patiently, content with feeling the rise and fall of Beatrice breathing under her, and she shifted herself up into a better–seated position when Beatrice began to talk.

“It’s nothing wrong, it’s just… Before I met you, and especially before I took my vows, I was taught to never act in a thoughtless manner, because those impulses would get me in trouble. I learned to repress them, and…” she sighed again, “It became instinctive.” 

Ava pushed herself up more so she could lay a hand on Beatrice’s back, belatedly realizing that maybe it wasn’t what she wanted, but Beatrice relaxed a bit at the touch and so she left it there, rubbing slow circles as she continued listening.

“Ava, I hope you don’t think me impetuous, but… you made me realize that maybe…” she hesitated, turning her head to meet her eyes. “Maybe I didn’t have to be so careful anymore.”

Ava held her gaze, smiling supportively, and she felt like she had won the greatest of prizes when Beatrice slowly smiled back. “Yeah,” she breathed. They held each other’s gaze, not saying anything, and something in Beatrice softened further as she eventually bowed her head, almost nudging her forehead against Ava’s.

“Yeah. I’ll… one day I’ll tell you more, okay?” 

Sensing that she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, Ava nodded and slid her hand to her shoulder, squeezing once before wriggling her way back down the couch and cautiously resettling in her position against Beatrice. She still seemed uncertain with the touch, but as Ava waited for any sign of discomfort, Beatrice only hummed. 

“Ava.”

“Hm?”

There was another pause, and then she felt the light touch of a hand brushing against her own before Beatrice finally relaxed against her, looping her arm around her body and delicately linking their fingers.

Something in Ava’s chest flared immediately, and she was suffused with a soft sort of warmth, a contentment that she’d very rarely felt before. She tried to hide her smile in her book, but as Beatrice huffed a quiet laugh beside her, she knew it was obvious that she hadn’t tried very hard. 

**Author's Note:**

> ava with basically no muscle memory and beatrice doing her best to suppress everything over the years is pinging away at IDEAS~ IN MY BRAIN 
> 
> in this one ava got too distracted to actually figure anything concrete out but perhaps in another…


End file.
